Ep 15: Inner Self

What is the inner self

The inner self, also known as the true self or the authentic self, refers to a person's deepest sense of identity and being. It is the part of oneself that is often hidden or suppressed, but that contains one's true desires, values, and beliefs.

The inner self can be contrasted with the outer self, which is the persona or public image that an individual presents to the world. While the outer self is shaped by social norms, expectations, and external influences, the inner self is thought to be more innate and reflective of an individual's core identity.

Many spiritual and philosophical traditions emphasize the importance of connecting with and cultivating the inner self, as a means of achieving greater self-awareness, personal growth, and fulfillment. Practices such as meditation, introspection, and mindfulness can help individuals access and explore their inner selves, and develop a deeper understanding of their true nature and purpose.


Want to know more about the inner self and the components that make up the entire self? Click on the photo to read more on the Fathers of the Self!

The most popular psychologist of ego is Sigmund Freud. Freud believed that the stronger the sense of self, the better the capability to communicate needs and limits that society puts on us. This allows for one to live their life to the fullest.

While, Carl Jung created an Individuation Process that included archetypes that coincide with psychological development: the shadow, the anima/animus, and the self. 

The 4-Components of the Inner Self in the Self-Help Theory

Shadow Work is a common term used within the self-help industry. Shadow work is a term used to describe the process of exploring and understanding the unconscious aspects of oneself that are often considered negative, repressed, or suppressed. These aspects of ourselves may include our fears, insecurities, anxieties, and past traumas that we may not be aware of or don't want to confront.

The term "shadow" was originally coined by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who believed that every individual has a shadow side or a "dark" aspect of the psyche that needs to be integrated for a person to achieve psychological wholeness.

Shadow work involves confronting and working through these unconscious aspects of ourselves by examining our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with honesty and self-reflection. By bringing these aspects of ourselves to light, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, overcome our limiting beliefs and patterns, and achieve greater self-acceptance and personal growth.

Shadow work can be a challenging and difficult process, but it can also be very rewarding and transformative. It is often done through therapy, journaling, meditation, or other self-reflective practices.

Ego work, also known as ego development, refers to the process of understanding and working with one's ego in order to achieve personal growth and self-awareness. The ego is the conscious part of our psyche that is responsible for our sense of identity, self-esteem, and self-preservation.

Ego work involves examining our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors to identify how our ego is influencing our perceptions and actions. This can include examining our biases, insecurities, and patterns of thought and behavior that may be limiting our personal growth.

The goal of ego work is to develop a more mature and integrated ego, one that is more resilient, flexible, and able to adapt to changing circumstances. This can involve learning to balance our own needs with the needs of others, developing a greater sense of empathy and compassion, and recognizing our own limitations and strengths.

Ego work can be done through various practices such as mindfulness, self-reflection, therapy, and meditation. By working with our ego in a constructive and mindful way, we can achieve greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and personal growth.

Inner child work is a therapeutic approach that focuses on healing and nurturing the wounded inner child within an individual. It recognizes that unresolved childhood experiences, traumas, and emotional needs can continue to impact a person's emotions, beliefs, and behaviors in adulthood.

The concept of the inner child refers to the part of oneself that retains the memories, emotions, and vulnerabilities from childhood. Inner child work aims to reconnect with and address the needs of the inner child, providing them with the care, understanding, and healing that may have been missing during their formative years.

Inner child work typically involves various techniques and exercises, including visualization, journaling, dialogue, and guided imagery. These practices allow individuals to explore their inner child, acknowledge their past experiences, and work towards healing and integration.

The goals of inner child work are to:

  • Identify and understand unresolved childhood wounds and traumas.

  • Provide comfort, validation, and nurturing to the inner child.

  • Heal emotional wounds and release negative patterns and beliefs formed in childhood.

  • Develop a healthier and more compassionate relationship with oneself.

Inner child work can be done with the support of a trained therapist or through self-guided practices. It can be a transformative process that promotes healing, self-discovery, and personal growth, ultimately leading to greater self-acceptance, emotional well-being, and healthier relationships.

A sub level to that is self-reparenting. Reparenting is a therapeutic approach that involves identifying and addressing unmet emotional needs from childhood by providing oneself with the nurturing and support that was lacking in childhood. The concept of reparenting is based on the idea that unresolved childhood issues and trauma can impact one's emotional and behavioral patterns in adulthood.

Through reparenting, individuals can learn to provide themselves with the care, comfort, and validation that they did not receive as children. This can involve techniques such as self-soothing, self-compassion, and inner child work, which can help individuals heal emotional wounds and develop a more positive and nurturing relationship with themselves.

Reparenting can be practiced through a variety of therapeutic modalities, including talk therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and mindfulness-based therapies. The goal of reparenting is to help individuals develop greater self-awareness and self-compassion, and to break free from negative patterns of thought and behavior that may be holding them back.

Overall, reparenting can be a powerful tool for healing emotional wounds and promoting greater self-love and acceptance. By providing oneself with the love and support that was lacking in childhood, individuals can develop a more resilient and positive sense of self, and live more fulfilling and authentic lives.

“Self-” is the portion that if you think of anything that starts with “self-” then has an adjective or noun to describe what is happening, then this is part of this category too. So for example, “self-talk” would be working on how to talk to the self. So things like self-compassion, self-efficacy, self-esteem, self-awareness (outside of presence), etc.

 I put this portion within this category because a lot of topics within the self-help industry are aimed towards the very specific concepts of self. 

How Inner Self Shows Up in the Self-Help Industry

Concepts like inner child work, ego work, and shadow work are integral to the self-help industry, providing frameworks for personal growth and emotional healing. Here's how each of these concepts manifests in self-help practices and resources:

Inner Child Work

Inner child work focuses on addressing and healing the unmet needs, traumas, and emotional wounds from childhood. It helps individuals reconnect with their childlike aspects to foster healing and personal growth.

Manifestations in the Self-Help Industry:

  • Books and Programs: Many self-help books, such as Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw, offer guidance on reconnecting with and nurturing the inner child.

  • Therapeutic Techniques: Exercises like visualization, journaling, and guided meditations are used to communicate with the inner child, providing comfort and understanding to past selves.

  • Workshops and Retreats: Many self-help workshops and retreats focus on inner child healing, helping participants explore childhood memories and heal emotional wounds in a supportive environment.

Ego Work

Ego work involves understanding and managing the ego, which is the aspect of the self that is concerned with identity, self-importance, and the need for validation. Ego work aims to balance and integrate the ego with other parts of the psyche to promote humility, authenticity, and inner peace.

Manifestations in the Self-Help Industry:

  • Mindfulness and Meditation Practices: Mindfulness techniques help individuals observe their thoughts and ego-driven behaviors without judgment, fostering greater self-awareness and detachment from the ego.

  • Books and Courses: Books like A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle focus on transcending the ego to achieve a deeper sense of self and purpose.

  • Therapeutic Approaches: Techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help individuals recognize and modify ego-driven patterns and beliefs.

    Flirt with your ego exercise

Shadow Work

Shadow work is the process of exploring and integrating the unconscious parts of the psyche that contain repressed or denied aspects of the self, known as the shadow. This work helps individuals confront and embrace their darker sides, leading to greater self-acceptance and psychological wholeness.

Manifestations in the Self-Help Industry:

  • Journaling and Reflective Exercises: Guided journaling prompts help individuals explore and acknowledge their shadow aspects, fostering self-discovery and integration.

  • Books and Guides: Books like Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche by Robert A. Johnson provide insights into shadow work and practical exercises for integration.

  • Workshops and Group Therapy: Many self-help workshops and group therapy sessions focus on shadow work, providing a safe space for participants to explore and share their shadow aspects.

Integration and Practical Applications

These concepts often overlap and complement each other within the self-help industry. For example, a self-help program might combine inner child work with shadow work to help individuals address childhood traumas and integrate repressed emotions. Ego work might be incorporated to help participants develop healthier self-perceptions and relationships.

Benefits and Outcomes

Engaging in inner child work, ego work, and shadow work through self-help practices can lead to:

  • Enhanced Self-Awareness: Greater understanding of one's thoughts, behaviors, and motivations.

  • Emotional Healing: Healing of past traumas and unresolved emotional wounds.

  • Improved Relationships: Better communication and healthier interactions with others.

  • Personal Growth: Increased self-acceptance, authenticity, and psychological resilience.

  • Spiritual Development: A deeper connection to one's true self and life purpose.

In summary, inner child work, ego work, and shadow work are foundational concepts in the self-help industry that offer powerful tools for personal growth and healing. By addressing these aspects of the psyche, individuals can achieve greater self-awareness, emotional well-being, and a more integrated and fulfilling life.

Resources

Podcasts

  • Mel Robbins Podcast with Mel Robbins

  • Sad to Savage with Shelby Sacco (newer podcast)

  • SHE with Jordan Lee Dooley

  • The Highest Self Podcast with Sahara Rose

  • The Inner Child Podcast with Gloria Zang

  • Almost 30 with Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik

  • Soul on Fire with Jordan Younger (Dear Media)

Social Media

  • @bygloriazang

  • @the.holisitc.psychologist

  • @browngirltherapy

  • @reflectionswithatherapist

  • @myeasytherapy

  • @the.truth.doctor

  • @dr.marielbuque

  • @thesecurerelationship

Resources

Previous
Previous

Ep 16: 30-by-30 series part 6

Next
Next

Ep 14: 30-by-30 series part 5