What is presence?

What does it mean to be present in the moment?

Being present in the moment means being mindful of the current situation and being aware of what is happening around you.

It means taking the time to focus on the present and savor it. It means being mindful of your thoughts, your feelings, and your senses.

It means being aware of your environment and the people in it, and truly engaging in the moment. It means being open to new experiences and truly living in the here and now.

What is an example of being present?

An example of being present is focusing your attention on the task or person at hand. It means being mindful of the moment and not worrying about the past or future.

Being present means being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. It also means being open to new experiences and being willing to let go of expectations.

Why is being present so powerful?

Being present is so powerful because it allows us to be fully engaged in the moment and take in all the experiences, opportunities, and emotions around us.

It not only helps us to be better in tune with our own thoughts and feelings, but it also helps us to be more understanding of other people and their perspectives.

By being present, we can better understand our environment, our relationships, and ourselves. It allows us to learn from our experiences and be in a better position to make decisions that will benefit us in the long run.

Being present can also be a great tool for self-reflection and growth, as it gives us the chance to look inward and assess our progress and progressions.

What does it mean to be present but not present?

Being present but not present can be defined as being physically present in a situation or place, but being mentally or emotionally absent. It can mean that even though you are in the same room as other people, you are not fully engaging with them.

It can also be referred to as being 'checked out' or 'going through the motions'. Being present but not present can be a sign of burnout, stress, or other mental health issues. It is important to be mindful of how and when you are engaging in activities and conversations so that you can make sure your presence is meaningful and impactful.

Why is being present so difficult?

Being present can be difficult because life is full of distractions that can make it difficult to stay focused and in the moment. It takes effort to stay focused and be mindful of the present moment. We can become preoccupied with thoughts of the past, worries about the future, and all the tasks we need to do. It can be hard to stay present when life is constantly throwing things at us. However, it is important to stay present in order to be mindful of our emotions and surroundings. Practicing mindfulness and focusing on the here and now can help us to be more present and increase our overall well-being.

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The Self-Help Theory 4-Components of Presence

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, actions, and behaviors, as well as their potential impact on others. It's an important component of emotional intelligence, which helps us to better understand ourselves, our motivations, and our relationships.

Self-awareness also involves being aware of our strengths and weaknesses, and having a clear understanding of what we are capable of. Developing self-awareness can help us to make better decisions, reduce stress, and become better communicators.

Find out the 4-components of self-awareness here: Episode 4: Self-Awareness

Authenticity

Authenticity refers to the quality of being genuine, honest, and true to oneself. It involves being aware of one's own thoughts, emotions, and values, and expressing them honestly and openly to others.

Authenticity also involves a willingness to be vulnerable and share one's true self with others, without fear of judgment or rejection.

Authenticity is often seen as a key component of healthy relationships, as it allows individuals to connect with others on a deeper level and build trust and mutual respect.

When individuals are authentic, they are more likely to feel a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives, as they are living in accordance with their true selves and values.

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown - 157 - “True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are”

Brene Brown Gift of Imperfection - 67 - “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make everyday. “

“Because if I’m doing this just to hear my self-talk, then I better be my most authentic self” - me

Flow

Flow, also known as being "in the zone," refers to a state of complete immersion and focus in an activity. It is characterized by a deep sense of enjoyment, effortless concentration, and a loss of self-consciousness.

When in flow, individuals experience a heightened sense of engagement, where their skills and the challenges of the activity are in perfect balance.

Flow can be found by setting goals, having an even amount of challenge and skill, and losing consciousness in the activity to the point of complete concentration.

A study from New Zealand shows that “engaging in creative expression” extremely contributes to to an “‘upward spiral’ of positive emotions, psychological well-being, and feelings of “flourishing” in life” - Find Your Unicorn Space by Eve Rodsky

This can be a parallel to “flow” and “mindfulness”

Purpose

The definition of purpose, according to Google, is “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists” and “have as one's intention or objective.”

Let’s break these down. “The reason for which something is done.” I’d say that means everything that happens is for a reason. If you clean your room, what was the reason? Because you were told to or because it helps the space become more zen. If you read a book, what was the reason? To further your knowledge on a subject or for pleasure? Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, has a purpose. Like everything happens for a reason

Next, “[the reason for which something is]... created” This is my favorite part of the sentence. It doesn’t imply that something simply exists, like the latter part of the sentence, it implies that purpose can be created. Through creation we are able to obtain the life we want. Create the memories we wish to hold dearly. Create the connections in our lives that last a lifetime. Create art. Create work. Create the life you WANT to be living. You only have one life, but multiple purposes for being here. Create it.

The next quotation is meant as a verb, “have as one’s intention or objective.” As a blog named, Intentional You, you can guess that purpose means a lot to my work and understanding of life. I love the idea that our life is our intention, and everyday we live through those intentions.

Our purpose is to intentionally create our existence.

How do you find your purpose?

Evaluate all areas of your life
A personality test
What excites you?
Self-help resources

Purpose really leans into values and beliefs.

How it shows up in the industry

Being in the moment

Yoga - my favorite YouTube videos are Yoga with Adriene!

Breath work

Signs

Gabby Berstein talks a lot about this in The Universe Has Your Back

From:

“UNIVERSAL LESSON: WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT OUR EYES ARE SEEING. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW WE PERCEIVE WHAT WE ARE SEEING.”

To:

“I step back and let the Universe lead the way.”

I genuinely don’t know if true “signs” exist, but I do know that if you are paying attention enough to receive signs, you are in the right place.It means you’re in the moment. You’re paying attention to life around you.

Self-awareness

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

This whole book is based on being in the now. But not only through meditation or breath work, but through knowing yourself and what works for you.

“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.”

I will say, Tolle has created a little bit of a cult-like following over the last few decades, and his teachings are very similar to those about spiritual enlightenment. That being said, dive into his readings slowly. Take your time to absorb exactly what he’s saying.

Podcasts

The Highest Self Podcast with Sahara Rose

The Mel Robbins Podcast with Mel Robbins (Creator of the 5 Second Rule)

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Mindful In Minutes Meditation with Kelly Smith

Emotional Intelligence

Really anything emotional intelligence will give you aspects of self-awareness. You could read Daniel Goleman’s books or by listening to my podcast episode on it. Episode 2 where I use examples from the Apple TV show, Ted Lasso to support my claims.

Authenticity

There’s no easy way to gain authenticity. It truly is a process. It’s not always about showing up as who you want to be, but maybe just who you are right now.

Really anything Brene Brown really pushes for authenticity through shame and vulnerability to belonging. These are all aspects of authenticity.

Authenticity shows up in every person’s writing or podcast. Putting themselves out there in that format is truly scary and can be intimidating. So you have to really know yourself. A lot of authors, podcasters, influencers, whoever will share how authentic they try to be. Even those influencers with 10k followers are doing their dang thing, being themselves while doing it, and kicking ass.

Examples: Drew Afualo. The Chicken Shop Date with Amelia Dimoldenberg. Brittany Broski. Ana Star. Just to name a few.

Flow

Flow by Mihaly Czikszentimihalyi - (Me-Hi Cheek-sent-me-high)

Most popular, Flow by, is a book that is more of a research guide on how flow can be beneficial to our well-being and life. Per the author, “Control of consciousness determines the quality of life.”

He also believes that to achieve this flow, we have to have an “optimal experience.” Per his research this is stretching ourselves or expanding ourselves to reach our fullest potential. I always think of a musician getting so into playing their music, it almost carries them away into a state of bliss (or at least how the movies make it seem).

As mentioned earlier, being present but not present can be a sign of burnout, stress, or other mental health issues. Another source or way to reach this flow, is through Eve Rodsky’s Find Your Unicorn Space - the active and open pursuit of creative self-expression in any form that makes you uniquely YOU. Not only does this touch on authenticity, but it dives into how to create time and space for you to do what you love to do.

Purpose

How to Find your Dharma by Sahara Rose

A quote that has stuck with me since reading her book is “I wasn’t confused, I was curious.” Since this quote, I have found myself forgiving myself for not knowing that age old question of “what do I want to be when I get old” and allowing myself to play with the possibilities. I’ve been in so many industries from retail to service to childcare to banking to education. I allowed myself to learn what I may have been interested in, and what may not have been for me. But gave myself grace for maybe not knowing the exact route I wanted to take.

This book is also packed with quizzes such as to find your archetype. Archetypes are heavily used in the self-help industry through the lens from Carl Jung’s perspective of self. Here she gives you a quiz and to line up with archetypes that could help guide you to your purpose. Not necessarily a job, but a way of life. It’s a great beginner’s guide to finding your dharma!

Workbooks

Workbooks galore throughout the self-help industry. Finding your purpose is a huge part of the industry’s way of grasping old of reader or clients. Because let’s be honest, how many of us feel lost in the sauce of every day life and truly want meaning to the things we do? That’s why workbooks are so great!

They guide us to the right questions because we are the only ones who truly know what the answer is to the question, what makes us feel fulfilled.

Archetype quizzes (astrology, enneagram, VIA)

I think any type of archetype or personality quiz, test, assessment, etc. is a great way to help you find purpose. Like emotions, if you can put a name to the feeling, you own it. So knowing what hard skills or personality traits you naturally have are a great way to guide you towards your purpose.

There are hundreds: Enneagram, Big Five, Meyers-Briggs, Values in Action, Personality, Jungian Archetypes

Even getting a little more woo-woo with: Human Design, Astrology, Spiritual Archetype.

I’m telling you if you can think of it, it’s out here.

That all being said, finding your presence is a process and finding what works for you and what you connect to is unique and can take time. Give yourself that time to go through books, podcasts, workbooks, journaling, all the things to truly find what gets you in the flow or brings you to the present moment.

Presence can be one of the harder categories because it does require stillness that does not come easy to most.

If I had to sum up this category in one sentence it would be: