Ep 12: 30-by-30 series part 4

The fight between your inner child and higher self seems to hit harder these days so don’t forget to hug them a little more often. 

You want to give your inner child everything they deserve, but you are also coming from a higher place to see things in the long run. Being triggered and having a higher self to help you through it. They will argue. There will be resistance. But take these moments to yourself to learn how to communicate within yourself. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being there for your self. It’s about showing up in these hard moments for your inner child when no one did i the past. 

Seeing a photo of myself as a child hits differently. Even seeing myself in “on this day” videos/photos of 23 year old me

I’ve been wanting to lean into hugging her. Understanding more that it wasn’t her fault what she was being exposed to. So I when I see her, I give her a little mental/emotional hug

Don’t tell people about the seeds you’re planting 

Let them bloom without external energy disturbing them. 

There’s a lot of power in silence and your voice is the only one your dreams need to hear until you’ve reached them. 

I’m not saying don’t share with those close to you, but you don’t have to share with everyone. Share with those you trust with everything, but let yourself revel in the emotions of your goals and ambitions alone. 

Unspoken expectations are your own disappointment

This one came from the goddess herself, Brene Brown in her book Atlas of the Heart. 

Let me tell you when this chapter popped up at the PERFECT time in my life. While journaling, I focused on the simple question of “when are sometimes I self-destruct or self-sabotage?” Well, as I dove into my question I looked at multiple aspects of my daily life. From my eating habits to my interpersonal relationships with others. Always planning but not practicing my values and expectations of myself. Come to realize, I have a lot of unspoken expectations for myself and others. 

When I read this chapter she gave the example of her husband and her and their weekend expectations not being shared and caused issues with schedules which arose frustastions. 

So, once I was able to recognize that it’s not someone being enough or doing what I wanted, it’s me expecting more than we had even discussed. Like how do people know your expectations, if you don’t state them. We were already doing this in a small ways, but it wasn’t until I realized how self-destructive I was within my own expectations THAT LIVED IN MY HEAD, that I was able to really connect with my inner issues of WHY these expectations existed in the first place. I also am able to show appreciation rather than being disappointed in my unsaid expectations. 

Another aspect to think about is, when you see others doing something you wouldn’t, that’s your perception of the expectation you would give yourself in that situation which can cause disappointment. Then naturally this can breed judgment and shame towards those people or yourself. 

Even my partner will ask me “did you expect any different” and I’m reminded that I didn’t share my expectations, so this disappointment I’m feeling is my own. 

“If you’re not asking for what’s important to you, maybe it’s because you don’t think you are worth it”

- Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown

One of the best things you can give yourself is patience, time and self love

A motto of mine. it takes time to incorporate a new lifestyle unless you’re one of those people that self-discipline was ingrained into your being from the day you were born. We have lives outside of our healing process and this takes time to assess moments that might need more in depth reflection or patience with ourselves when we mess up. It’s not perfect, the healing process that is. But if you’re showing up every day doing the best you can with the tools you have, along with a lot of self-love, there is nothing that you cannot do.

Everything is happening for you, not to you. 

Hard to see in the moment, but in the end the lesson is what helps build resilience. The universe has a funny way of giving you lessons and letting you learn from them. 

What you experience isn’t always who you are, but it shapes where you are today. Look at me, for example. 

I come from a background that may not be traditional or easy, but I’ve over powered the generational traumas and backlogs to get myself to where I am today. And looking from the outside, I am doing a day job while living in my suburban home, living a pretty mundane existence. However, this is the safest and most peaceful I have ever felt in my life. I’m on the path to truly loving the life that I have built.

A great example comes from my favorite show Ted Lasso (Apple TV). I’ve brought this show up more than you probably care to hear about it, however a lot of the show has to deal with the human existence. I just love it. Enjoy the clip below!